Learning to praise God in the middle of the unknown.
Hey, friend. ♡
If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm a girl who loves life. I love deeply, feel everything, laugh a little too loudly, and believe there's something beautiful to be found in almost every season.
I'm usually pretty content going wherever life takes me. I love the unexpected, the spontaneous adventures, and the little moments that turn into some of my favorite memories.
But underneath all of that, there's a heart that desires to be chosen. To be known deeply, loved intentionally, and seen for exactly who I am.
And lately, I keep finding myself drawn to the story of a woman in Scripture named Leah.
Not because our stories look the same, but because there is something about her heart that feels so human to me.
The woman who wanted to be chosen.
If you're unfamiliar with Leah's story, you can find it in Genesis 29.
Leah was married to Jacob, but Jacob loved her sister Rachel more. Imagine living in a season where you were constantly reminded of something your heart deeply desired but couldn't make happen.
And yet, in Genesis 29:31, we read something beautiful.
The Lord saw Leah.
Before her circumstances changed, before she received what she longed for, God saw her.
When Leah gave birth to her first son, Reuben, she believed that perhaps now her husband would love her.
When she gave birth to Simeon, she acknowledged that the Lord had heard that she was unloved.
When she gave birth to Levi, she hoped that now her husband would become attached to her.
Three sons. Three glimpses into the longing of her heart.
But then came Judah.
And this time, Leah said something different.
“This time I will praise the Lord.”
I can't stop thinking about those words.
This time.
Leah's circumstances hadn't suddenly become perfect. Scripture doesn't tell us that Jacob woke up one morning and loved her differently.
But in that moment, her words changed.
Instead of naming what she hoped someone else would give her, she turned her attention toward the One who had already seen her.
And I wonder what it would look like if we did the same.
What if, in the middle of our unanswered prayers, we said, this time I will praise the Lord?
When we don't know what the next chapter holds.
When we're waiting for direction.
When life looks different than we imagined.
When we're longing for something good and beautiful.
This time, I will praise the Lord.
Not because I no longer have desires. Not because the waiting doesn't stretch me. Not because I suddenly understand everything God is doing.
But because He is worthy of my praise, even here.
Already chosen.
At the beginning of this year, I chose love as my word for the year.
I wanted to learn how to love like Jesus. To see people the way He sees them, extend grace freely, and live with a heart that reflects His.
What I didn't anticipate was how much He would teach me about receiving His love.
Ephesians 1:4 tells us that He chose us in Him before the creation of the world.
Before I had anything to offer. Before I accomplished anything. Before I became the woman I'm still becoming.
He chose me.
And I'm learning that I don't have to become someone worthy of His love. I get to become someone who lives from the security of already being loved.
That doesn't mean the desires of my heart are insignificant. It simply means that the fulfillment of those desires is not what determines my worth.
I am just as chosen in the waiting as I am in the receiving.
The testimony in the waiting.
One of my favorite parts of Leah's story is something she couldn't have possibly known when she named Judah.
Generations later, Jesus would come through his family line.
The son she named in a moment of praise became part of the lineage of our Savior.
Leah didn't have the privilege of reading ahead in Scripture. She couldn't see the generations that would follow her or understand how her story would fit into God's greater story of redemption.
She was simply living her life, one chapter at a time.
And isn't that where we find ourselves, too?
We don't get to see the full picture. We don't know what God will do with the things He's teaching us today or how the little moments of obedience will shape the rest of our lives.
But we can know His character.
I've always loved hearing testimonies from people who can look back and see exactly how God was working. But I'm beginning to realize that there is something equally beautiful about the testimony of someone who is still waiting.
Someone who doesn't know the outcome but chooses to praise Him anyway.
Someone who has questions but continues to seek Him.
Someone who holds hope in one hand and surrender in the other.
Maybe the testimony isn't just in what God eventually does. Maybe it's also in how we come to know Him along the way.
Why Written in the Waiting?
I created this little corner of the internet because I don't want to wait until I have a finished testimony to share the goodness of God.
I want to document the middle.
The things Jesus is teaching me. The Scriptures I can't stop thinking about. The questions, the quiet prayers, the little moments of joy, and probably a few chaotic ramblings along the way.
Because, well, you're getting the real me.
I want this to be a place where we can grow together, where we can be honest about the unknown without losing sight of the One who knows us completely.
I don't want to spend my life waiting for the next beautiful thing to happen before I recognize the beauty of what God is doing right now.
And I don't want my praise to be dependent on an outcome.
I want a faith that praises Him in the middle of the story, not just at the end of it.
Here's to the unfinished chapters.
Maybe you're reading this in a season of waiting, too.
Maybe there are things you've been praying for, dreams you carry quietly, or questions that haven't been answered.
Friend, I hope you remember that the same God who saw Leah sees you.
You are known. You are loved. You are chosen in Christ.
And you don't have to know what the next chapter holds to find something worth praising Him for in this one.
So here's to living fully, loving deeply, and finding joy in the midst of the unknown.
Here's to the prayers that are still being prayed and the stories that are still unfolding.
And when I find myself wondering what God is doing, I hope I remember the words of a woman who lived thousands of years before me.
This time, I will praise the Lord.
Because He is good.
Because I am His.
And because my testimony is still being written.
With love and open hands,